Ave Historia: An irreverent look at historical fiction today: books trends, historical tidbits, and random tangents
August 25, 2010
Last month's Cosmo: Senator's sexy wife Lepida Pollia spilled all about fashion, ambition, and her outrageous sex life!
On the cover this month: THEA: The Emperor's Mistress Spills Her Secrets
Tunic by Guccius. Earrings by Tiffanius. To get Thea's look, try kohl in Smoky Gray, liner in Wood Ash, rouge in Masada Magic, and lip rouge in Sandstone Neutral. Hair: Thea keeps it low-key with sexy waves. Or for the look she made famous, braid hair into a crest with a ribbon (Thea likes silver!) and toss over one shoulder for girl-next-door sexy. So cute!
35 Beauty Evolution: The Empress's Style Progression
Commoner to queen means pastels and prints to sapphires and silk! Get this look for less than 300 sesterces
44 The Real Story: The Emperor's Niece Takes Her Vows
Why she chose thirty years of chastity as a Vestal Virgin
56 Sexy vs. Skanky
Statues: totally naked or tastefully draped? You decide!
Her parents caught her with a trident fighter – the day before her wedding!
62 Guy Confessions
He told her he's a charioteer – but he's just a lawyer!
64 Hot Sheet
Trends we're buzzing about! Are gladiator sandals here to stay?
Just like Thea wears - cute and comfortable!
69 Mistress of Rome
Thea spills to Cosmo about Emperor Domitian, her surprising friendship with his wife, and how she keeps the most powerful man in the world happy. (It's not what you think!)
We catch the Emperor's mistress at home for some girltalk!
FUN FEARLESS FASHION
74 Not Your Mother's Stola
New draping techniques put a sexy spin on this old-married-woman classic!
75 10 Steals at the Forum
Bargain-price accessories at the Forum Romanum – cheap and chic!
78 Beautiful British
In honor of our newly-conquered province, everything this season is coming up Celtic – neck torques, spiral brooches, and Brigantian jet, all plundered direct from the front!
Skip the blue face paint, but grab yourself some barbarian chic!
86 Wiggin' Out?
Four wig styles that flatter everyone
88 His Picks
Ambergris: the new perfume guys love
92 Beauty Q&A
Use a bread-paste face mask to tighten and tone!
93 Beauty News
Get that Egyptian cat's eye liner perfect every time
Cat's eye kohl, just like Cleopatra!
102 Stud Meter
Arius the Barbarian hits the top! We can't get enough of this surly-but-sexy gladiator. Meet his friends in . . .
104 Gorgeous Gladiators
Abs to die for – and they do! You'll flip for these short-lived studs
107 Bad Hair Days Around The Empire
Mustaches and beards from Ireland to Syria. With hair like that, no wonder they couldn't withstand our legions. Clean-shaven rules – literally!
A rare smile from taciturn bad boy Arius as he relaxes with his steady girl. Who might that be? No one knows, but she is one lucky lady!
Today's hottest gladiators - go ahead and fantasize!
Note: Gladiator #2 died in the arena after Cosmo went to press
LOVE AND LUST
110 He Slept With A Slave Girl – Does It Count As Cheating?
First of all, don't sell her to a salt mine
112 Arranged Marriages: Getting It Right
Learn to love the man your parents picked for you
116 Ask Him Anything
Does he have sex with his buddies? If yes, don't worry . . . unless he's the one on the bottom
121 100 Sex Tips From Rome's Most Successful Courtesans
You can't be seen associating with these women, so we did the research for you. You won't believe Tip #47!
Rome's priciest pros are here to help your marriage!
YOU, EVEN BETTER
138 How To Impress the Emperor
With strategies like these, you'll never be exiled to a desert island!
139 How To Shop For Slaves
Foolproof ways to avoid the troublemakers and bring home the pick of the market every time
142 6 Tips for A Perfect Massage
Win your husband's heart with these tips from the masseuses at the Baths of Diocletian
He'll be putty in your hands after Tip #4
150 The Cosmo Health Report
Unwatered wine can wreck your health (and your reputation). Read here!
154 Cosmo Gyno
The new birth control: auyt gum and acacia tips! It works for Egyptian women; now it works for you
155 Your Body
Maximize your trip to the bathhouse with a fifteen minute steam – great for the skin!
A good sweat followed by a good swim will have you glowing
NEED TO KNOW
161 Race Ready
Our fail-safe guide to the chariot races: the horses, the drivers, and the factions. Impress your man with your racing know-how the next time he takes you to the Circus Maximus!
Single? There's no better place than the Circus Maximus to scout hot guys!
FUN AND FEARLESS
164 The Naughtiest Thing I've Ever Done
A wax plug with a little pig's blood – my husband never knew I wasn't a virgin!
166 Ask Atia
Our resident bad-girl columnist spills on barbarians, Vestal Virgins, and world domination Roman-style.
Have a question for Atia? She's seen, heard, and done it all!
Lupercalia festival this week! Get in the spirit by donning leather loincloths with your man and running through the city cracking a whip!
172 You and Him
Prep a slave by the bed with a fan for the next time you have sex – you'll enjoy the cool breeze!
178 Healthy Sexy Strong
Want to look like a lady of leisure? A muscle-free physique is key
181 At Your Place: The Perfect Dinner Party
Impress your guests with stuffed sow's udders, sea urchins in almond milk, and roast dormice rolled in poppy seeds. Our resident chef shows you how
Sea urchins always make a splash!
188 From Nessus – the Emperor's astrologer reads your stars. He's never wrong!
A bad month for Scorpio (don't fall for a sweet-talking legionary!) but a good month for Taurus (a hot new slave might spice up your nights at home!)
He may look good, but Scorpios should pass him up!
192 Girl on girl action!
Don't miss the new erotic poetry from Sappho
Bonus points: no rash from beard stubble!
193 Are You Mistress Material?
Mostly A's: First wife, arranged marriage.
Mostly B's: Sexy wife, second marriage.
Mostly C's: Mistress on the side!
Hope you enjoyed this special Roman edition of Cosmopolitanus. Next up: Roman Maxim!
August 17, 2010
So my historical fiction novel “Mistress of Rome” has been out and about in the world for just over four months now, and it has been a learning experience. Mostly a very good one – I still wake up every morning deliriously happy that I can work from my couch and not have to put on uncomfortable shoes and trudge into a cubicle where I stare at Excel spreadsheets and pretend to care when my boss says that my “Tell Me How Lucky I Am To Work Here” coffee mug is not in line with the company mission statement. But being a writer has its bad sides just like any other job, and top on the list is dealing with negative reviews. Which will come, because everybody gets negative reviews. You can go on Amazon and the Bible has negative reviews. Even God doesn't get a break on this one.